H4L Writes : tips

How To Deal With Bullies

12:25 PM

Hello guys, it's Gizem. So as you know, there are thousands of people being bullied right now in your life, and that is probably why you clicked here too. I am here to help you, and I will do my best.

I understand how you feel right now. Maybe you've been harmed physically, or they just insulted you. Maybe you got embrassed in front of the whole school. Maybe they took somethings from you.

All of those things would probably make feel like you are not enough, you would struggle lack of strenght and some of you may even feel suicidal... So many people does bullying because they want attention of others, to make themselves popular, to feel powerful, to escape their own problems, they're being bullied too, to escape from their own problems, or they can just be jelaous of you. I can hear you saying "Jelaous of me? What?". But yes, you can't believe how many people bully someone just because they are jelaous of how smart, cute, strong or how good that person's family is and so on.

Bullies tend to pick people who are 'different' in a way that they dress, act or because of your religion, race and sexual orientation.

If you are being bullied:

Do not blame yourself. No matter what someone says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel. Instead, be proud of who you are. I'm totally sure that there are wonderful things about you.

Get help. You should talk to a parent, a teacher, or someone that can help you and you trust.

Learn to deal with stress. You what I still do when I feel so bad? I don't like writing into a diary and that does not work for me (but you can definitely do if it does for you), so I record my voice while I explain everything, from what happened with who, to how I felt, how I dealed with it, and I how I feel right now. Whenever you feel bad, close your eyes and wait. Wait until it stops. You can not cry forever, and your body will naturally calm down after some time. You will probably fall asleep.

How to deal with it?

Walk away. Don't listen to what they say, never show that it hurts you. Tell them that you are not interested in what they say and show them that they don't have control over you.

Protect yourself. Sometimes you can't walk away, and they might harm you physically, protect yourself no matter what. Your safety is the first priority.

Talk to someone. Talk to your parents, teacher, a counselor or any other trusted adult. Believe me, sometimes they can find a way to solve it. If they carry on, report it again, don't try to deal with it alone.

Meet new people. Join some new clubs, and meet new people. You may find people who struggle bullying too, and you can stand up for it together. But my advice to you is to not to trust people so quick, try to get to know them as much as possible.

Gay and lesbian youths are usually at risk of bullying. If you need help, call:

U.S.: 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (488-7386)
Canada: 1-877-OUT-IS-OK (688-1765)
UK: 0207 837 7324
Australia: 1800 184 527
New Zealand: (04) 473 7878

Cyber Bullying Includes:

Nasty messages online or on the mobile phone.
Comments on your posts or posts about you.
Being excluded from online groups and forums.
Embarrassing photos being put online without your permission.
Rumours and lies about you on a website.
Offensive chat on online gaming.
Fake online profiles being created with an intent to defame you.

If you are dealing with any of these, you should ask for help. If you are an adult, you can call the police, but if you are a teenager or a child, just talk to someone older than you that you trust.

Tips:
Never ever, respond to anything that has been said or posted about you.
Screenshot everything that they did for evidence.
Report and block them.

To parents:

Bullying is something serious. It can cost your child's life.

How to know that your child is being bullied:

Talk to their teachers.
Talk to them, make them feel safe with you and gain their trust as much as you can.
Don't ever get angry to them just because they are being bullied and have struggles dealing it. Yelling them to stop crying would probably not work at all...
If they are worried, sad, angry all the time, if they have nightmares, those can be the signs that they are being bullied.
Take them to a psychologist. While doing this, explain them that there is nothing wrong with getting proffessional help from someone, and everyone does it nowadays.

So I've tried to help, and hope I did. If you ever need to talk to someone but don't trust anyone, please text me through my social media accounts. I will reply back as soon as I see it, and I promise you, no one will know about it. You don't have to use your personal account, tell me your name or anything, but I would LOVE to help you.

My twitter is: gizemincex
My instagram is: gizemince1

In the future, I may write about my story. Maybe I can help you a bit more, if you read how exactly I dealed with it.

I also recommend you watch the movie called 'The Secret', it is a life changing movie. And there is a book of it too.

Watch The Secret on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ioKU6Jue_k

Remember that every single of you are important, you mean so much to someone, not everyone will do but you don't need every single person you know to love you anyway. Your family loves you, your best friend, boy or girlfriend loves you. If they don't, I love you. You may not believe me right now, but life does get better. I promise, all of the things that you are going through right now will end some day. Take care, and goodbye for now.

-Gizem

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Back To School Advice

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1) Socialize. Socialize. Socialize.

Most of the freshmans, or students have the struggle about being alone at school. You can always gain some friends when you join a club. Don' t think that you are not interested in any of them because there are always a lot of options to choose, just try, you never know.

Don' t be so shy. I know that it could be difficult to even say "Hi.", but again, try. If it doesn' t work well with that person, talk someone else. Or just look around, you will definitely find someone as shy as you, who sits alone all the time, just go and say hey to them!

About socializing, always participate in school events. Don' t be that person who doesn' t even go to their prom or homecoming, because like why would you want to miss your prom? Who would do that?

If your school organizes camps, summer schools, join, they are so fun.

2) Be organized.

If you don' t be organized and keep every sinle worksheet, paper, etc. you have in a folder, the mess will be real. When the teacher would say "Turn in all your warm ups!" don' t be the person who can' t find anything, because they are so unorganized. Make sure that you are organized and you have all your stuff together. And a planner is helpful too.

Being organized is not only about your stuff. Being on time is important too. Sleep early, wake up early. I' m not telling you to sleep at seven o' clock, just be sure that when the next morning you wake up, you' ve had enough sleep.

3) Don' t leave everything to the last minute.

If you have homework, or projects, do it BEFORE the last day, or after you come from school to home, if your assingment is for tomorrow. Believe me, when you finish everything earlier, you will be so relaxed while others try to do it quickly because they are late. While they do their work, you can enjoy your free time.

When you have free time at school or extra time at the end of the class, while others waste their time by talking you can do your homework. If you are allowed to bring your phone, or listen to music in the extra times, put your headphones and listen to some good music. That would help you a lot if you get disturbed of other kid' s noise. Get your homeworks done, so then after school you can have a fun time.

4) Be yourself.

It is always important to be yourself around your friends. Don' t try to impress other people and forget who you are. If they are not okey with your personality, just let them go, they weren' t your real friends probably. Be friends with people who love you for who you are, and who you enjoy spending time with.

Don' t try to look perfect every day, don' t feel uncomfortable in an outfit just because to look good. Wear what you love to, and what you are comfortable in. If you enjoy doing makeup, go for it, if you enjoy wearing skirts, wear them, but not to impress someone.

5) Ask for help.

If you are having a struggle with a topic, ask your teachers, or your friends who got the topic to help you. There is nothing bad with misunderstanding something. Don' t be afraid to ask for help.

6) Bullying.

In almost every school, bullying is a big deal, it is growing and growing everyday. I have been bullied too, I remember coming from school to home, and crying for hours untill I fall asleep. People will always make fun of you, they still do make fun of me. But it' s not the same anymore. I really don' t give a shit about what people say about me, or make fun of me. I just laugh, tell them to stop, and move on. If you are being bullied, believe me, everything will be okey, every single thing will be okey, and it will get better.

If bullying gets physical, you should definitely ask your help, even when it' s not physical ask for help too. When they fight you, protect yourself but avoid fighting back.

If you see someone being bullied, help them. Please help them, because sometimes people just can' t deal all those words, don' t let those stupid people to get what they want.

7) Relationships & Breakups

High school relationships are fun, but when it comes to break ups, it's not that fun. Don' t cry over a girl or a boy, wanting to get back, thinking that you can' t live without them, because you can! You' ve had a life before them, and you will have one after them. Don' t let someone effect or control your life. Be happy because you finally learned that he or she is not the right person that you would want to spend your whole life with. It' s not easy when someone you talk everyday leaves you, especially for one reason, but all you can to do is to move on.

8) Friendships over relationships?

The idea of friendships over relationships really depends on how your both friend and girlfriend or boyfriend act. If your friend is jelaous of your relationship and wants you to breakup, tell them no. Ask for reasons, if they have a proper reason then okey, you can decide on whether you should breakup or not. But just for nothing? No, don' t ruin a relationship that you are happy with it for nothing.

Spending your whole time with your boyfriend or girlfriend is not that good too. You never know if he or she is your real love. One day you can breakup, and no one could there for you just because you choosed your friends over your relationship. That is not good. So always keep in mind that you can have a balance, spend time with both your friends and lover.

9) A friend of opposite sex?

That is literally ok. Having a friend or friends of opposite sex, is ok and good for you. If you are a girl and you have more fun with your guy friends, that is ok. If you are a boy and have more fun with your girl friends, that is ok too. Do NOT let other people to choose who your real friends are!

10) Studying.

Be attentive during class. The more you understand the material, the easier it will be to study.

Take notes. Don' t take notes of every single thing, just the important things, that would also make it easier to study.

Study groups are always so fun and helpful. But don' t forget to study just because you are together with your friends, and waste all your time talking.

Stay focused and be quited. If you talk you will disturb your teacher, the other students, and you can get in trouble too. If your friend tries to talk to you while you are listening to the teacher, tell them to stop, you can miss something really important while you talk to your friend.

Hope I helped you a bit guys, see you next week and good luck with the first day of to school!

-Gizem